So, much to the dismay of the people that care about me, I’ve decided to work things out with Angel. (My boyfriend) I know the main points everyone was trying to make, but at the end of the day…I love him. And I want us to work. So, I plan to try again. Now I’m not a fool. If the fighting doesn’t get better, and the accusations don’t stop, then I’m not going to stick around trying to force a horse to drink water.

But we have established some ground rules this time around, and so far, it seems to be working. So we’ll see. Anyways, school update: I started out pretty rough, getting 2 C’s. Then I got a B, and FINALLY last week I got my first A- ! So I’m proud of myself. I’m finally pulling it together. I’m doing well.

My job cut my hours, and I’m borderline behind on my bills. But I have faith everything will work out somehow. Because I cannot go down like this. Does anyone know of any remote work or places hiring remotely that I could do? I’m already on Upwork.com. And in case you want to check it out, my online portfolio can be found at www.kjdesigns.net . Right now the site is under construction but you can still find my portfolio online. Check it out and let me know what you think. I could really use a job. So if anyone knows of something, please let me know. Thanks for reading.

DISCLAIMER: This is a long post. But please read it and give me your HONEST opinion, because I could really use it…along with some words of encouragement because I feel like shit. Thanks in advance.

Well, I’m sad because I’m single. But I’ll get to that in a moment. School started 4 days ago. Because of my breakup with my boyfriend (Which happened to be on the same day as school), needless to say, I was flustered and not focused. I was unable to concentrate for a long period of time without exploding into tears. But after some ice cream & alcohol, I’m doing okay.

I want to do good this semester, especially since it is my last semester, ya know? I want to put my best foot forward. I’ve decided I’m going to focus on school, and my business.

Oh, good news, my business got a loan! For $950! Not much, but it’s the first loan I’ve ever gotten because I made $10K last year, which let me qualify for a loan. I’m so excited. I’m really going to make it last and work for my tutoring company.

But back to the breakup: I got my hair done 2 weeks ago, and it was beyond overdue. I thought my boyfriend ex would understand that I needed to get my hair done. I’m black. We get our hair relaxed/permed every 6-8 weeks. I was going on about 11-12 weeks! Almost a month past due. I looked a hot mess. But anwways, I got my hair done and felt good. Keep in mind, this was not the first time I’ve gotten my hair done since I’ve been with him. Then I went to his house for like 4 days straight and spent time with him and his daughter.

My ex is very insecure because his previous girlfriend cheated on him. So he’s paranoid that I was/will do that to him too. But I try to explain this to him: I’ve been cheated on by EVERY SINGLE GUY I’VE EVER DATED! *Which makes me feel like SHIT.* But my point is, I understand what it feels like to be cheated on…and the pain, hurt & anger that one feels due to that…so WHY THE FUCK (excuse my language) would I want to cause that kinda pain to someone else? I don’t understand. I would never do that! The way I see it is if I no longer want you, or are no longer attracted to you, I’ll just break up with you before I cheat on you…plain and simple!

Anyways, so I got my hair done. That was strike one I guess. Strike two: he came to my house while I wasn’t home (I was at work. We have keys to each other’s houses) & there was a black dress that my MOM gave to my GRANDMA to give to me, and my grandma got this dress during the course of the 4 DAYS that I was with my ex at his house, so I had NEVER seen it before–not to mention, it wasn’t even in my room! My grandma had it folded and tucked AWAY in a chair at the kitchen eating area. Which means he was snooping to have found it. Becuase I hadn’t seen it when I had got home from HIS house that day and went straight to work.

Strike Three: when I was at his house, I was texting under the covers because his house is FREEZING because he has no heat. So when he asked me why was I under the covers with my phone, I told him the truth: I’m texting my best (female) friend Brittany, and I didn’t wanna take my hands out from under the covers because I was cold AF.

Now lets add everything up to see how he came to his conclusion: “So when you say you’re *Tutoring* that’s code for you going on a date with another nigga, huh?

This dress can’t fit your grandma so I know it’s yours!And you just got your hair done…new hair, new dress. Nah bro…he can have you. And you been acting sneaky AF hiding shit under the covers and shit.”

DUDE. REALLY?! Please be honest with me people (if you’ve read this far down) Am I suspect? Does that seem rational? His conclusion? Like..do I seem like I am cheating? If you were him, would you come to the same conclusion? I got upset. I think I was entitled to it, because he’s ALWAYS accusing me…and honestly I feel like he’s paranoid becuase HE’S out there doing his dirt. Becuase I’ve been nothing but faithful… 🙁

Anyways…so he broke up with me. And I haven’t spoken to him. He has to come get his stuff, like his clothes and xbox and stuff and his keys from my house and give me the stuff I have at his house…but please give me some clarity on this and let me know what you think. Thank you. Its crazy though…10 days before Valentine’s day too. And in March it would have made a year that we would have been together.

I just added emojis reactions. You can use that too, and comment.